


Won't Find It Here

by auber_jean



Series: SASO 2015 Fills [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Future Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 19:15:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4111966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/auber_jean/pseuds/auber_jean
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Oikawa finds himself struggling with the patterns of the past, and Kuroo is there to remind him that things aren't the same.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Won't Find It Here

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by fabflyingfox for the SASO 2015 Bonus Round #1. Based on the song 'Won't Find It Here' by Black Label Society.

_He feels the first rush of pain in his twelfth university volleyball game._ __

_It’s the telltale tingle of fluttering nerves that call him to rest, to take a minute and stop. The same flood of pain that reminds him of hours spent in the Kitagawa Daiichi gymnasium with the ache of his muscles and nothing but the sound of his heavy breaths. But now, his team is a set down in the game, three points away from a game set match, and with two more teams to beat before reaching the finals._

_And Oikawa Tooru doesn’t want to lose._

—

Oikawa is halfway up the steps to the club room when he spots Kuroo by the edge of the railing, arms slung over the edge and fringe of his hair hanging low over his eyes. Blithely, Oikawa wonders if he could use Kuroo’s temporarily impaired vision to make a run for it. But as soon as that thought flutters through his mind, he shakes his head, wondering what kind of oblivious state of mind he is in to not have seen this coming.

The night air is cold where Kuroo stands by the edge of the veranda, waiting as Oikawa makes it up the stairs and walks past to open the club room door. Practice had finished long ago, and the rest of the volleyball team members had left soon after, leaving the two of them behind in the same way that it’d been for the past two years.

Oikawa’s hand wraps around the cold metal of the door handle when he stumbles; the weight of his knee trembles with his slight misstep. It’s small, something minute enough that he can shake off any concern with a wide smile and a laugh cheery enough to charm the best of them.

But it’s Kuroo that he stands in front of, and Kuroo never knows when to let things go.

If Oikawa was going to stake claim onto anyone he deemed worthy enough to stand as a rival— it would have been Kuroo. Because in his eyes, they are two sides of the same coin, branded with the same pride and smarts to shortcut anyone who crosses them. Both with mouths that never stop running and minds that are always marked ten steps ahead. It’s just the unfortunate reality that they are on the same university volleyball team, and they have to play allies to save face.

Oikawa flicks his gaze over to Kuroo, expecting a flutter of words to point out the obvious. But Kuroo just meets his eyes, levelled in silent challenge.

The both of them stand unmoving until Kuroo nods towards the door. “Aren’t you going in?”

Oikawa gives him a tight smile. “Right,” he murmurs as he walks into the room, his left knee stilted in his movements as he makes his way over to his locker.

Kuroo slinks in afterwards, pulling the door shut and switching on the room lights. He pulls a chair from the side of the wall, setting it near the wall of lockers just a foot away from Oikawa.

“Oi,” he calls over. “Sit.”

Oikawa glances at him questioningly, tilting his head just enough to suggest confusion. He knows Kuroo won’t buy it; he never has. But Oikawa has too much pride to give in so easily.

“I’m not your pet,” he says as he slams his locker shut, giving Kuroo as pointed glare as he twists the locker dial between his fingers, spinning in round and round the numbers four, four, six.

Kuroo raises his eyebrows before his face transitions through a series of emotions that Oikawa can barely find it in himself to read. “And I’m not your owner. So please, sit down your majesty.” He points to the chair with a face that shows that he is more than willing to wait.

Oikawa scoffs before pulling away from his locker to sit down on the chair. “Is this the part where you resign yourself to my future leadership?” he asks, voice lilted towards something a little more light-hearted, in the way that it never really is between them.

Kuroo studies him carefully, before shrugging off the thought. “You know that I don’t care about that.”

It’s true that Kuroo doesn’t have any ambitions to captaincy. He had made that fact clear to Oikawa on the very first day of volleyball practice, grinning something awful that made Oikawa instinctively wary of him on sight, all the while explaining that he had no intention of fighting Oikawa on anything. Oikawa doesn’t mind it, but he feels no relief in getting the position of captain without earning it forthright. But it’s been years of being on the same volleyball team, and Kuroo’s stance hasn’t changed.

“But Kuroo-chan,” Oikawa voices, teasing in the way that he knows bothers the other boy. “You have to fight for the things you really want, you know—”

Kuroo meets his eyes, his weighted gaze stopping Oikawa from saying anything more. Oikawa leans back in his seat, rolling his head to the side to stare at the other boy.

“Are you going to keep making a show of this or do you want me to do it?” Kuroo asks suddenly, in a way that indicates that Oikawa must have been silent for too long.

“Do what?” Oikawa replies offhandedly.

“Oikawa.” Kuroo sighs in something resigned and exasperated to the point that it almost feels like disappointment, and although Oikawa has never sought the other boy’s approval, he hates the feeling.

And that’s the part where Oikawa feels himself break.

“What? Is this the part where you tell me I fucked up?” he says, already halfway angry. “Because I already know that.” His hand instinctively grapples for his knee; there’s always been something about the pain that keeps him sober.

“I didn’t say that—”

“Then what? Are you feeling sorry for me?“

“I’m just checking up on you!” Kuroo half-shouts, and it sounds so foreign to Oikawa’s ears.

“You and your damn messiah complex. You can’t save us all, Kuroo,” Oikawa says snidely.  They’ve been on this team together long enough to read each other’s nuances in more ways than one.

Kuroo steps forward towards Oikawa, because between the both of them, they’ve always been too stubborn to ever back down. “As opposed to your martyr complex? Did you forget that you play on a team Oikawa?” he says, voice unreadable.

“We’re not a team,” Oikawa mutters, voice pitched low.

His words hang in the air, chilled and unforgiving. It’s an admission of sorts, something unfair to the both of them and the game they’ve been playing. But Oikawa can’t find it in himself to take it back.

“You said you wanted to win,” Kuroo says, words heavy and the look in his eyes something indescribable.

“So did you,” Oikawa says, breath befalling him as if he’s exposing something he shouldn’t.

“What exactly are you trying to prove?”

“Nothing. I don’t have to explain things to you.”

It’s then that Kuroo steps closer, until there’s hardly any space between them, bending to kneel down. His hand reaches for Oikawa’s, gentle in a way that makes Oikawa want to pull away.

“You have a team here. You can have what you’re looking for here,” Kuroo says, voice low and far too quiet for the space of the room.

“You can’t fix this,” Oikawa says bitterly because the only things he can see ahead of them are countless doctor’s appointments, doubts and the understanding that these things need time.

Kuroo lets out a breathless laugh, hand gripping tighter, and Oikawa feels his fingers warm. “Maybe, maybe not. But it’s worth a shot.”

**Author's Note:**

> As always, beta'd by the lovely arsenicjay who constantly has to deal with my mess.


End file.
